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Money Talks,
Meaning
Whispers
By: Lee Brower & Jay Paterson
I n life, there's "True Wealth" and "False Wealth". False Wealth is very seductive but has no real or lasting power. True Wealth is one of the
greatest powers on earth when harnessed and employed correctly.
The problem is, few people know the difference between True Wealth and
False Wealth. It's not something we're taught in school or by most mentors,
including our parents. As a result, so many of us end up aiming at the wrong
target and unintentionally investing tremendous amounts of time, energy,
effort and money into the pursuit of False Wealth.
How about you? Do you know the difference between True Wealth and False
Wealth? Are you absolutely certain which target you've been aiming at?
The reality is ... "Money talks!"
For most people, the phrase "money talks" means wealth is power. The more
money you have, the easier and better your life becomes. To a certain extent,
it's true; money does solve many of life's problems, but there's more to it
than that.
Money sometimes lies. Money says: "Make the quest for me the most
important thing in your life, and I will reward you with whatever you want."
Money may tell us that if we sacrifice our time and energy, or even friends,
family, and health, money will reward us for putting it first. How many
people do you know who make the accumulation of money their first
priority, thinking that it will lead to happiness, peace of mind, and great
relationships?
We often perceive money as the solution in our never-ending
quest for peace and happiness. We give it unprecedented
permission to set boundaries in our lives – in our work, our
families and our relationships.
When we view our lives strictly in terms of our financial possessions, wealth
comes at a high cost. We all know families that have been torn apart by
money; and, many of us know individuals whose lives might not include
great financial abundance, but they are among the happiest people we know.
They embody the expression, "When you're happy within, you can be happy
without."
An incident that occurred several years ago gave me further insight. I found
myself outside the door of a very young, affluent and influential CEO of a
newly listed New York Stock Exchange company. I had been working with
him and the company for several years, and I was there to pick up a very
sizeable cheque. In fact, it would be the largest single cheque I had received
up until that time. His office was on the top floor of a ten-story building in
which the firm occupied all ten floors. To say the office was opulent would
be an understatement.
I entered through the large double doors and headed straight for the desk
where Mr. CEO sat engrossed in the documents on his desk. He looked up at
me over the top of his glasses, and without any formal acknowledgement of
my arrival, he lobbed a question at me that totally stopped me in my tracks.
"I've been wondering – what's a guy like you worth?"
What kind of question is that? I wondered. What does he mean, "A guy like
you"? I had a pretty good idea of what he was worth. His stock in the company
was public information and that was valued in excess of three quarters of a
billion dollars. Not bad for a thirty six-year-old executive!
I don't know exactly why, but the question presented to me in that manner at
that moment made the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. I made
every effort to maintain my composure, but I wasn't too successful.
I looked him straight in the eyes and with a firm (perhaps slightly quivering)
voice said, "I will tell you what I'm worth. To my family, I am worth one heck
of a lot! And while we're on the subject, let me tell you something else." (I now
sensed I might be putting the forthcoming cheque at risk, but I continued.)
"Some people are born downright ugly. Others are born with more serious
handicaps; perhaps they're blind or crippled. Others experience tragedies
during life that seem insurmountable or even unbearable. I don't believe that
God cares as much about what happens to us as He does about how we deal
with what happens to us." I took a deep breath, but I still couldn't hold back.
"Perhaps your handicap is that you are rich! And I don't think God gives a
squat how much money you have. What He cares about is what you do with
it!"
You would have needed a butcher's knife to cut the tension in the room. I
stood there becoming more fully cognizant of what I'd just said, expecting to
be dismissed. Sweat seemed to be coming out of every pore in my body. After
what seemed an eternity and a contest of wills, he quietly responded "You
know, I was just thinking the same thing."
Whew! I walked out with the cheque in hand.
What is any one of us worth? Can we put a dollar value on what we are worth
to our family and friends, to our business associates and clients? We are
worth a great deal to our communities, as well, if we contribute of ourselves,
financially or in other forms of service. In fact, the whole notion of worth
expressed in dollars is utterly meaningless when we begin to think about
how valuable we are to those around us, and how valuable they are to us.
For the last thirty-three years, Empowered Wealth has worked with some of
the wealthiest individuals, entrepreneurs and families in the world. We have
also worked with people deeply in debt and at virtually every level in between
those extremes. As advisors to the affluent, we began to examine whether
the work we were doing – creating intellectual mechanisms for the rich to
pass their wealth to their offspring without concomitant responsibilities
– was one hundred percent beneficial. Were we protecting the wealth of
hard-working people from the ravages of inflation, the taxing authorities and
other enemies of wealth preservation? Or were we, in effect, contributing
to the delinquency of the generation of very wealthy heirs and trust-fund
beneficiaries who would follow them?
More and more time was devoted to studying some of the world's wealthiest
families. I wanted to know why some families were successful in preserving
wealth for generations, and why most family fortunes never made itto the
fourth generation.
According to the Family Firm Institute of Brookline,
Massachusetts, "Nearly seventy percent of all family firms fail
before reaching the second generation, and eighty-eight percent
fail before the third generation; only a little more than three
percent of all family enterprises survive to the fourth generation
and beyond."
Through that study, we discovered the real meaning of "True Wealth" and how
to create it, grow it, manage it, optimize it, preserve it and pass it along intact
to future generations. The Brower Quadrant is radical stuff that goes against
what you have been taught but not against what you know about wealth.
Someone once said that our true worth is what is left after the money is gone.
We have True Wealth when we enjoy financial abundance without neglecting
our relationships, our communities or our personal searches for meaning.
There are those rich and poor who have learned the secrets of True Wealth.
They know that it encompasses things that money does not.
How do we balance the need for money and desire for wealth with our need
for purpose and meaning? The answer lies within the question harmony.
Harmony demands we honor, develop and acquire symmetry between all of
our assets:
Our Core Assets
(the essence of who we are – our family, health, values, talents
and beliefs)
Our Experience Assets
(the sum of our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
experiences)
Our Contribution Assets
(our effect on others with our money, time, and relationships)
Our Financial Assets
(our net worth)
True Wealth comprises all of these assets; we don't want to sacrifice one for
the other. Fortunately, we don't need to make that sacrifice. When we have
True Wealth, we can maximize the enjoyment and benefit we receive from
all of our assets. We can grow them, manage them, optimize them, preserve
them, and pass them on to whomever we choose. The remarkable thing that
you will discover is that the more you pursue meaning in your life, the more
money ends up pursuing you. Develop systems for transferring the values the
money will follow.
Jay Paterson, co-founder, Empowered Wealth Canada relates the following
experience:
"One of our very astute clients wondered aloud, 'What do I get my grandkids
for Christmas?'"
I suggested she use the Brower Quadrants as guidance and asked her what
was the one thing each of her grandkids could use, right now, that would
empower them the most, that would transfer Grandma's wisdom and love to
each grandchild in a way they would always utilize and remember?
Here's what we designed and what Grandma did.
Grandma carefully wrapped four crisp, green apples in a beautiful gift box
– one for each grandchild. Can you imagine the surprise when each grandchild
opened their gift and found an apple? Tucked under the apple was an
envelope with a handwritten note offering an exchange of that green apple
for a brand new Apple Computer.
The note explained that like the real apple, each member of the family, has at
their core the seeds that when nourished and cared for, would lead to multigenerational
orchards of thoughts, experiences, knowledge and wisdom that
would bear Core, Experience, Contribution and Financial fruit. "Your new
Apple Computer will help you create and capture your true wealth from each
quadrant."
Each of the grandchildren understood the message. It was the last note each
ever received from Grandma; she passed away soon after. Fortunately, the
gift had a life of its own that will live for generations. In fact, the family now
refers to this "fruitful" gift of love and life received from Grandma as the
"Apple Experience."
The book, The Brower Quadrant, has led many individuals and families to
discover increased confidence and peace of mind by implementing the systems
of Empowered Wealth and Quadrant Living. They will tell you that by
focusing on "true wealth" they have actually multiplied their financial wealth
while nourishing their most valuable assets i.e. those assets they would not
trade for more money. They're intentionally building generations of empowering
givers versus unintentionally encouraging future generation of entitled
takers. Isn't that really what it's all about?
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